I´m definitely
trying. And being mostly successful.
Read on.
Saturday evening was really interesting. Some friends and I got together with a man who runs his own company (cooking oil production, which is a big industry in Ecuador) to discuss his business, his ideas on economics and, to make a long story short, who he was voting for in the upcoming presidential elections here. I appreciated the fact that he scrutizined the candidates´ positions on education: none of which appear to have grand plans in that area, unfortunately. There are some who want to continue increasing the government, until it´s a father to us all--rather what the US seems to be trying. There are others, thankfully, who´d rather let people live freely but well. As the current president is pals with Hugo Chávez, I don´t have a lot of confidence in him. He has built a lot of great roads though. Most think he´ll be re-elected.
Back to contentedness. After spending that evening in a beautiful home in the valley (the first
house I´ve been in since arriving), on the way back to the city I had a great conversation with a new acquaintance. He was from here but had traveled to Argentina, Chile, and Italy. After having gone to countries with more stable economies and politics and more convenience, you´d think he might have returned discontent to his own country.
Here in Ecuador, life is fairly inconvenient and sometimes irritating, as I´m sure I´ve described in full. For example: getting anywhere takes forever.
Work is a twenty-minute walk away (which is incredibly close by local standards!). Getting north in the city to see people takes 25 minutes on a usually crowded metro bus. Getting to another friend´s house is a 20-minute walk (or 10 minute bus ride) and then a packed, 20 minutes on the Ecovía (another trolley/bus line). If I want to buy something, it´s not only finding the right store (Wal-Mart and Target do
not exist here) but getting there, being safe, and then returning home with the purchases, which hopefully don´t weigh too much.
Nothing is open 24-7. If you need/want groceries or some necessity, chances are you might not get them immediately. Just to leave my apartment building takes a few minutes: locking the door, going down three flights of stairs, unlocking yet another big door to leave. All things that are unfamiliar to me and time-consuming.
If I want to eat something, I either make it myself or eat at a restaraunt that may or may not have everything on its menu. No microwave. No dryer. I don´t drink the tap water.
And right now, it´s raining which makes me very happy because it dampens (..literally) the sounds of the city. But, my dilemma: I have to get to work. Taxi? Stand and wait for a bus in the rain, then walk more in the rain? Just plain walk to work and arrive soaked? I might just do that. Unless, of course, it lets up. I´m going to wait and see. I was going to go grocery shopping but now I´ll wait inside, listening to Jon Foreman and writing my blog.
Which brings me to my next point: desire. There´s much to desire when one lives in Quito. All of the aforementioned things and more, perhaps. Why do I sometimes consider living here? why did the guy with whom I spoke say he wouldn´t permanently live anywhere else?
Because anywhere else is
too convenient. There´s
nothing to desire. Everything is a drive, a phone call, a credit card swipe away in the States (of course, sometimes I
really miss that!)
In the dear US of A, I can get distracted from the most profound and basic human desires: love, interior peace, eternity--the longings that make our souls uncomfortable here in time. (Don´t you ever feel like your soul is just squirming...for the lack of a better word? It´s kind of unnerving.) When something like that strikes me, I could easily fulfill it with some quick solution, material or otherwise: a nearby friend, a chat with a family member, a tasty snack on hand, shopping, a nice drive in my car, or plain old physical comfort, and peace and quiet. All of those things are good. But, they´re temporary. And I think I can sometimes trick myself into thinking that´s all I´ve got and all I need.
Here, you can´t escape desire! So what stands out to me are the moments I
do feel fulfilled: moments of soul-sharing with friends, of natural beauty, in the sacraments, in prayer and meditation, when I get to the root of something that´s troubling me and resolve or just embrace it, when I realize the value of my family and friends around the world, and when I realize my own value as a beloved creature. The basic wordly desires bring me to what my heart is actually longing for.
It got me thinking of the things I love: being up before the sunrise, reading great literature, natural beauty, great conversations with friends, delicious meals shared with loved ones.
I love being up before the sunrise, so I can hear the birds, watch the sky change and the clouds clear: once the sun is up, I´m almost disappointed. The sunrise is always different, yet the sun always rises in the same way. The desire is beautiful! The thing awaited is the almost monotonous.
I like long books so I don´t reach the end too quickly: I love the desire of getting there, the journey.
When I´m somewhere naturally beautiful, I don´t want to leave, I want to look at it forever, live there. But, go I must, so I enjoy the fleeting moment.
Moments of peace like meals and conversations always end--they´re beautiful in their time.
 |
| If I saw this every day, would it be as amazing? |
The glorious moments of beauty, peace, and love
burn just a little bit: they´re stretching my heart and imagination and soul ever so slightly, so the next time, I can appreciate better the brief joys. It´s like a fire: the more you add, the more brilliantly it burns, and the more fuel it needs.
So, in short: I´d like a car to drive to work right now. It´s still raining. But, I don´t have one. Just the desire for one. When I eventually get back to mine in the States, I´m going to love it--and for now I´m content with my car-desire.
